Friday, February 8, 2008

Facebook Fauxpas

Ok, here's the deal. Hey! Listen up. When I say "listen up" that means you stop talking and start listening. Ok then. Here it is.

When you are thinking about posting your main photo on Facebook, for the love of Phil Hartman, PLEASE BE IN YOUR PHOTO!!!

I don't want to see a pic of your baby. I don't want to be friends with your whole family. I want to see you! I want to reconnect with YOU. Yes, yes, I am sure you are very proud that you finally got married after years and years of searching for that one person who can accommodate all your weird ticks and quirks. AND I'm sure you want eeeeeeveryone to know that you had sex and eventually squeezed out a lump of flesh that's not even a person yet. But please people, that's what your photo albums are for.

Eventually I'll get to hear about your wonderful spouse and all 15 kids you've astoundingly had in less than a decade. And I will be ecstatic for you. I'm great at being happy with people. It's one of my super powers. But for right now I want to see YOU and tell YOU how much I've missed you. You left a hole in my life that neither your baby, your hunky spouse or your whole family can fill. Only you.

2 comments:

Chris said...

I'll be your Facebook friend. And I promise, the picture is really me. :)

jackie said...

You've got issues.
It's not about being proud that we finally got married and "squeezed out a lump of flesh that's not even a person yet" It's that that is what our life consists of now and it's exciting!
So for now, I'll keep my picture of my family as my facebook photo...until I get another family portrait taken...then I'll switch it to that one! HA!
Is it really that offensive, Jake, I mean really?